Stupid Aspirations

I’m neither really. I’ve never really been into exercise but I’m not a lazy bum either. I’ve always had problems with my weight but if I were any skinnier, I’d look disgusting. I try to run at least once a week, whether on a treadmill or outside, and do some simple ab workouts for about ten minutes. Other than that, I’m running around at work, constantly on my feet. And I eat as organic as I can afford. I hardly eat meat, and never beef. So I guess you could say I’m healthier than most.

How did I come across Tumblr? How has Tumblr changed my life?

I came across it when my cousin linked me to Nick Holmes. And it hasn’t changed my life. Its an outlet. Much like my Moleskine.

I’m lame. Thanksgiving and work has wiped me out. Here are days 4, 5 and 6

Day Four:
Closest Friend(s):

I’ve never been one to have a best friend. I have friends but keeping them is another matter. But there is one girl I’ve been friends with since we were wee lass’ of four. We’ve been through everything together. She’s currently married and has a beautiful baby girl named Izzy (Isabella Rayne to be exact). I never see her much but thats what happens when your friend is married with children and you’re living the single life. I love her though, and she knows it. When we do see each other, its like we see each other every day. Then there is my best guy friend in the entire world, Randy. We have a pact to get married if neither of us are in a serious relationship/engagment/marriage by the time I am 30. That gives us nine years. He knows everything about me and loves me anyway. Same thing though with not seeing him all the time. We both work but again, when we do, its like nothings changed. I’m lucky to have both of them in my life.

Day Five:
3 Favorite Colors:

These have always changed based on my mood and personal preferences of the time. But I always go back to these three:
1. Purple (usually lavendar)
2. Green (of the pastel variety)
3. Yellow

Day Six:
Favorite Season And Why:

I don’t have a favorite season. I love all four for different reasons. I love the Spring because its the beginning, its a regrowth and my birthday. I love summer because of the sun and water. I’m a water sprite through and through. If I could, I would live on a boat in the ocean. I love the Fall for the colors and its the beginning of boots and scarves weather. I love the Winter because of the snow, layering of clothes and its the Christmas season. I’m a fan of both cold and hot weather. The world is beautiful with every changing season. Why pick a favorite?

I hardly watch tv but I have a few favorites that I’ll watch thanks to Netflix. Listed, in no particular order.

I’m not sure what it is about it that makes me love this show but I do. Probably the “mystery”. I’ve always been a fan of “cop shows” such as CSI: Miami and Law & Order. This is a new spin on the slasher/cop show genre.

I’ve been a fan of vampires for a very long time circa Anne Rice Interview with a Vampire and this show is ridiculously campy but its a nice time waster.

Its a hilarious show. ‘Nuff said.

I’m a nerd.

The epitamy of teenage angst in animated form. I need it in my life. I miss it.

1 Tattoo
1 Piercing (unless you count ears)

I have many body modification plans but currently only have a very small amount of my overall goal.

The tattoo is a b+w of flowers behind my right ear. Eventually (not any time soon, hopefully) they will be in memory of my mother, since she drew them.

One day, when I am old and grey, I will have one behind my left ear for my father, on the nape of my neck for my sister, my right forearm for me, a 3/4 sleeve on my left arm that signifies my life (drawn by my brother), a right side piece and debating on a left leg piece (do I want to go through with that many?)

The piercing is my nose. No special meaning behind it. Just wanted it. I’ve had my lip pierced for the exact same reason but recently took it out, and have no plans to put it back in. Debating on several more but probably just sticking with the nose. I also have gauges of the 1/2” variety. Eventually, they will be 3/4”. No bigger.

I’m named after my two Grandmothers. Grandma Sheila, whom I never met. And my Nana Lorraine, whom I only knew until I was two. She was warm, and comforting. Thinking of her, I’m reminded of cookies and the song “Amazing Grace”. I hardly knew her but I think of her often, and love her. I’m proud to be named after her. I’ve always loved my middle name. It means “Crown of Laurels”

She didn’t know how they started but they did. The rumors of events the night before flew before her. Accusations of doing more than she should have, not doing enough. Contradictions filled the hallway. Was she a slut? No, then was she a prude?

She pulled her hood further down, trying to cover her view of the judgmental, teenage eyes, and walked faster. There was still five minutes left before class started but she knew better than to linger in a hallway full of lies and misconceptions.

Sitting in her desk, she knew she wouldn’t be able to go through the day. People whispering behind her back, passing notes between periods with questions of what went wrong. The bell rang and Heaven started crying.

***

“He’s totally checking you out!” Helen said, a smile breaking across her face. “Shit, Heaven. Don’t look!”

Heaven quickly snapped her head forward. She didn’t know she wasn’t supposed to look at the guy checking her out. Of course, she didn’t know many of the rules when it came to the opposite sex. Heaven tried to pay attention to her smoothie. She heard Helen whisper “Oh shit oh shit oh shit.” and noticed a third body joining them.

“Hi.”

Heaven looked up and saw a boy she didn’t know.

“Hi,” she replied. She couldn’t help but grin.

“So, um, I’m new here. And I don’t know many people. Mind if I sit with you and your friend?”

Heaven just looked at him; she didn’t know what to say. Helen finally broke the silence.

“Go right ahead. We’d love the company.”

She moved over so the boy could sit right next to Heaven. Heaven just looked at her with a dumbfounded look, Helen smiled back at her.

That was the beginning. Helen had no idea about the future when she let this strange, new boy sit at her table with her best friend. She never saw what was coming.

***

“I can’t go back there. I can’t. I won’t.”

Heaven didn’t know what to do. She sat on the cold bed in the nurse’s office, begging the nurse to send her home but Nurse Marko wasn’t listening.

“You’re perfectly fine Heaven. No fever, no vomiting. No fainting spells. You’re just stressing yourself out, I think. You do only have four more months until you graduate after all. You’ll be fine sweetie. Now get back to class.”

Heaven sighed. She couldn’t talk Nurse Marko into letting her go home so she grabbed the hall pass and walked back to class like a prisoner walking their last walk.